the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
