i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Sext me about skeletons
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
