I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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