im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
