i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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