I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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