Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Jerry, you need to find god
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
