Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
