I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
