he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
