I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I have post one night stand depression
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
