Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
