She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We are two peas in an std pod
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
