its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
