why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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