you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i dont even know how to be here
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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