PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize