would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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