I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize