I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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