Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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