So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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