Dual....:-)
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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