You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
