i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
