so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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