we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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