Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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