so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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