I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
