So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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