if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
