Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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