kristin has been a bad kristin
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
