Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

so im guessing thats a no.....

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(310): View more from California

my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.

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(949): View more from California

Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that

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(416): View more from Ontario

you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night

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(847): View more from Illinois

If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen

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(406): View more from Montana

I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion

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(727): View more from Florida

you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot

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(563): View more from Iowa

Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?

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(702): View more from Nevada

I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates

(310): View more from California

That’s quite a spread

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