I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
