This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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