i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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