I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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