Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
