she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
