Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
