playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
