I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
