you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I need to sanitize my soul.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize