i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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