you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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