Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
