pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
