I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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