My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
