so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
