We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
