3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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