I wish i was in the wii world.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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