This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
