I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
