My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
