i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
