??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If I die, sorry about rent.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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