My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
