So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
